


If We Go Down, We Go Down Together

by borrowedphrases



Category: Kamen Rider Gaim
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 03:00:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borrowedphrases/pseuds/borrowedphrases
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're still enemies, even after all their time as partners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If We Go Down, We Go Down Together

**Author's Note:**

> After a conversation about Stupid Nut Riders with [reversere](http://reversere.tumblr.com/) she put together a little three piece comic, which in turn inspired this fic.
> 
> It's not meant to be set strictly in canon, mind.

"We're still enemies. We shouldn't hesitate, Hase-chan." Jounouchi is speaking, though he can't hear his own voice through the ringing in his ears. The look on Hase's face - stricken, but determined - tells him that he is being heard, that his throat is actually making sounds. "Don't hesitate, even though it's me."

"Jounouchi..." Hase's spear wavers as his hands tremble, though he doesn't lower it. He keeps it raised, aimed at Jounouchi. His mouth works for a moment, but no more words come. There's nothing else to say, really.

Jounouchi's hammer feels far too heavy for his own hand, his palm clammy, sliding against the grip. His vision has gone a bit blurred around the edges, and he can see Hase's eyes shining as well. Everything else around them, the flame and blood of battle, the screams of ally and enemy alike, it's all part of the din. Nothing else has clarity for him but Hase's face, a mirror of his own internal agony.

"Don't hesitate." He repeats again, pushing his glasses up his nose with his free hand and gulping hard.

It's almost like a dance this time, _after_ all this time, the way they move together. After so much time spent awkwardly out of sync, they eventually found their rhythm, their harmony. Together. They read each other's movements as if they were their own, swing meeting block, thrust meeting parry. Time trudges on, stands still, speeds up, until they're both panting, their limbs screaming from holding on, holding out, for so long.

Jounouchi's not sure when Hase started crying, nor is he fully aware of the tears trailing slowly down his own cheeks. They're the kind of tears that simply flow, that exist all on their own, no sobs or shaking or shouts paired with them. Just silent, reserved tears.

Hase is down on one knee, his spear raised, held in both hands, his chest heaving with weary gasps. Jounouchi is at a half crouch, unwilling to fully rest his weight on his knee, bruised from a blow taken from the butt of Hase's spear.

He meets Hase's eyes across their small personal battlefield. Most of the war has moved on like a tide, pulled away and leaving them to their solitary struggle.

It's time.

Jounouchi can sense it, feel it in his bones. He can see it in the way Hase tilts his spear, the way his eyes dart down slightly, once, as if marking a bull's eye over Jounouchi's chest. He can feel it in the way his own hand tightens on the handle of his hammer, setting his aim high, equally deadly.

They'll go down together. No hesitation.

The seconds pass between them, long like the dead of winter. Then in a flash they're both moving, Jounouchi leaping to his feet, Hase steadying the stance of his crouch. The spear is raised, the hammer falls.

Jounouchi closes his eyes.

His aim is true, his hammer coming down with a force that sends a jolt of vibration along the full length of his arm. The sickening crack of bone breaking rings in his ears.

Jounouchi opens his eyes just as Hase's body falls, limbs flopping, a disturbing mix of limp and stiff that reminds Jounouchi of a doll's. Pain grips at his chest, but when he looks down he finds no spear in his heart, no blade staining his clothes with blood.

Hase's spear rests a few feet back from where he'd been crouching.

"No." Jounouchi's hammer hits the ground with a dull thud, his knees scraping themselves bloody against the pavement as he scrambles over to Hase. "No, no, _no_..."

Blood covers half of Hase's face, slicks his hair back as efficiently as the gel he once used, it leaks heavily from a wound Jounouchi can't bring himself to focus on, too terrified to see the full extent of the damage. He grabs at Hase, at his stupid half leather coat, at his garish rose shirt. He shakes him, gasping, choking on sobs he's trying so hard to swallow.

" _Hase-chan_ ," another shake, then he moves his hands over Hase's chest, feels the texture of glittered paint and plastic jewels. "Hase-chan, you're so stupid. Why did you... I _told_ you, didn't I? I told you not to hesitate. I know you heard me."

Jounouchi is near screaming now, searching Hase's face for any signs of... of life. He's so angry, so mad at him. Why was Hase always so _stupid_? Why didn't he ever _listen_?

"I hate you." Jounouchi claws at Hase's shirt, tearing off gems and cutting his fingers. Tears are splashing down onto the lenses of his glasses, clouding his vision until all he can make out are blurs of color. Black and gold and deep deep red.

He yanks his glasses off and throws them aside before collapsing on top of Hase, his face turned to the side, ear pressed to his chest. He doesn't believe in gods, but he almost prays to hear a heartbeat, feel the rise of a breath, something to tell him those weren't bits of Hase's brain and bone he glimpsed.

All he hears is his own stuttered breathing.

"I _hate_ you," he's near whispering now, his whole body giving in to shaking sobs, shoulders jerking as he cries in a way he's never allowed himself to. Raw, open agony.

When he's run out of sobs, though he's far from out of tears, Jounouchi lifts himself up, dragging one filthy sweater sleeve across his face. He looks back at Hase's face, wiping the blood away from his cheeks with the same sleeve he just used on his own tears.

"I'm sorry, Hase-chan." His voice is hoarse, his words soft. "I'm so, so sorry."

He takes one of Hase's hands in his, kisses his knuckles, as he's done many times before, in quiet stolen moments, telling himself he was merely taking what he wanted from him. Using him, just as Hase was using him in return. Telling himself as many lies as he told Hase.

Jounouchi sets Hase's hand down on his chest, then turns, his lips set in a thin line. He reaches for the spear, hears the dull drag of it as he tugs it closer.

The long blade goes in and up easier than he thought it would, so sharp it just slides in with one strong push. A soft sound of pain parts his lips, but nothing more. His agony has all been spent by this point.

Blood blooms quickly, stains his sweater in steady bursts when the blade comes out. Jounouchi looks down, like he's watching it happen to someone else, and laughs softly, as he puts his palm to the sticky red mess. It leaks through his fingers, spilling too fast for his hand.

Dizziness starts to take him, and he aligns himself with Hase, his wound hidden against his partner's side. He rests his head on Hase's shoulder, rests his unbloodied hand over Hase's chest, where his steady heart stopped beating.

There's no one left to lie to anymore.

"I love you, Hase-chan."

**Author's Note:**

> Original comic form can be viewed [here](http://reversere.tumblr.com/post/71037944458/im-sorry).


End file.
